My depression continues . I don't know why but I constantly break into tears, sometimes spontaneously, sometimes after I see Arlene. Maybe the best thing is to allow it to happen and not fight it. I know its partly caused by tapering back on the morphine I've been taking for the pain. I'm down to 1 tablet a day and after a few more days, I'll either stop or cut back to 1 tablet every other day. I still can't say enough about Arlene, how lucky I am to have her care for me.
I now have a plan to heal: it's called exercise. I did my first exercise today - 12+ minutes of walking with my walker. Felt tired but good after it was done. This will be my daily routine with the goal of increasing the time. Felt less depressed after the walk. We're talking about going out to dinner. Getting out of the house will help alot.
I need to get a good night's sleep, but still can't sleep in bed. The couch will have a permanent indentation of my butt when this is done.
I know i'm vulnerable and that I have leukemia which may eventually kill me, but I'm feisty enough to say screw you - you're going to have to come get me. In the meantime, fracture, heal properly, and let me continue my life.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I'm glad to hear that the walking is helping you to feel better. (It always imporoves my mood as well!)
I hope the dinner plans work out for y'all!
Thanks, Cory. Arlene says that I show small improvement every day. I've relegated the wheelchair to the trunk of the car for emergency use only and will use the walker only.
Exercise increases your endorphin levels, which improve your mood. The more you exercise, the stronger and better you will feel. It is addictive, so you need to make a commitment to it or else you will get more depressed if you stop.
Good luck to you and I hope you will not go quietly into the night. Fight to live, fight for every moment, get every drop of life that you can. God Bless...
Post a Comment